[fic] Saiyuki, "Toys"
Toys or Four Thoughts On Nii's Bunny
Saiyuki
Various pairings in various parts, mostly revolving around Nii, Kamisama, Kougaiji, and... the bunny doll.
Not safe for work. Not safe for brains. issues of non-consent. I think most people will get halfway through the first drabble and I'll HEAR the sound of the back buttons being pushed. Just keep that in mind.

(ETA: Oh god I just like googled oh god never again wry oh god)

I note I wrote this fic while drinking herbal tea from my bunny mug. It has a bunny for the handle, and text reading "Some Bunny Special". I feel wonderfully horrible.



One

He rips the seam first. Folds his fingers in and spreads them, tearing it open, the sound loud.

"Ah, does that hurt?" he asks, mock-gently. "Would you like me to sew you back up? Take that out? Put something else in?"

He runs a hand over the stitched face.

"Ah," he says. "How terrible of you."

He slides his hands up under the doll's dress, catches at cloth sides, and holds it gently in his lap, and rocks. And rocks, so his ears are full of the sound of flesh on cloth.

And finally he laughs, a thin low sound. "Oh," he says. "That's very bad of you, bunny. You're not allowed to come first, you know. How does bunny intend to make it up to me?"

And then,

"Ah. That will do nicely."

***

Two

Sensei, am I your bunny?

"Well, now."

Your sweet bunny. Is that something I am?

"Do you think you might be?"

Does Sensei have something for me? Give me something, Sensei.

"Oho. What is it you want?"

Sensei, sensei, give me something. I don't care what, as long as you give me something.

"Why don't you ask for something a bunny might want, then? If you're a bunny, as you seem to want."

A carrot, will sensei give me his carrot?

"Oh, I don't think that's likely." He laughs. "After all, bunnies bite, when they are given such things."

***

Three

Over the years his Sensei starts to send him old toys. Ones Sensei doesn't want any more, that's the sort of thing Sensei sends. Kamisama feels a lot of love for them. He holds them to his breast and cuddles them and croons, those poor abandoned things.

Some of them are even things he knows his sensei used to love. He gets a bunny doll at one point and holds it up by the arms, looking at the stuffing seeping from it.

"Poor little thing," he sighs, and smiles at it coyly. "Sensei left you, didn't he?"

Its head tilts slightly to one side, and he imagines a faint glimmer of life in those eyes.

"You're broken, aren't you? Ahh, it's no good to be broken."

He folds a hand between the doll's legs to hold the stuffing in.

"Oh," he says, smiling. "But you're not gone yet, even if you're broken. I can still play with you. Do you want to play with me?"

Kamisama draws it in and pulls it into a slow dance. "Ah," he says. "Just like sensei does. I'll make you happy, just like sensei does."

***

Four

Nii passes his thumb across Kougaiji's lips roughly, thumbing away the excess fluid. This is displeasing; he seems like after he realized that Nii wouldn't stop, he is trying to pretend a deeper level of brainwashing than existed. Presumably to escape with his honour intact, if not his pride.

It's a bit of a shame. He kisses Kougaiji again, perfunctorily, and feels the bone-deep resistance as Kougaiji opens his mouth for Nii's tongue.

Well, well. For now, he can play along, and see what he gets once he's finished the next stage. He smiles at Kougaiji. "Rabbit prince," he croons, "I have a job for you."

Kougaiji looks at him evenly.

"There's a place I want to send you," Nii says.

*

"Ah!" Kamisama claps his hands together and beams. "Sensei sent a toy!"

The red-haired man is pretty, pretty and muscled and strong and he looks like he'll make a good toy. "Do you want to play with me?" Kamisama asks. He crouches on top of the guardian statue he'd been seated on when the toy had arrived, and he leans forward and beams, his head tilted slightly. "Do you want to be my toy?"

The man turns his head aside, but he doesn't say no, so that means 'yes'.

He's not fighting, so he's not that sort of toy; instead he belongs in the toybox. Kamisama leads him in with a dance step; this is a new toy, a beautiful toy, a toy that seems like maybe sensei's happy. Maybe sensei's actually happy with him.

The toy looks around vaguely at the toybox, and a flicker crosses his face, like he's trying to suppress a reaction -- and then disgust settles in heavily. "That's--"

He's looking at the skeleton of that boy and Kamisama glances over briefly before dismissing it, turning with a bright knife-edge smile. "Onii-san," he says. "You're not as broken as you looked, are you?"

A snarl crosses his face and then he's ducking down into a stance. "What sort of creature are you? I won't forgive if you try--"

"Ahhh, it's no good to talk like that," Kamisama says. He flicks his wrist and his prayer beads begin to float around him, the long strings flying up to orbit him. "It's so cliche, you know? It makes you sound like a boring person."

"Kai!"

Kamisama dodges easily, but the flame sets fire to several toys, and he cries out, throwing himself down against them, stamping them out with his sleeve. "How mean! Hurting other people's things! Didn't anyone teach you any manners?"

He finishes putting out the toys, now lifeless, soulless, and turns when he hears the red-haired youkai chanting.

"Ah, onii-san," he says. "You know a few tricks, don't you? But that's no good. You'll damage things badly if you do something like that." His prayer beads lash out.

"--gyatei gyatei ohm jiji--" and then he's crying out and choking on his blood, falling to his knees.

"See?" Kamisama asks him, brightly, beaming at him. "Now it's okay!"

Slowly, the new toy raises his head.

"Oh!" Kamisama says. "You look so fierce. Is Onii-san the durable sort?" He smiles again, dreamily; sensei wouldn't send him something unbroken, so he should be broken. And then all will be right with the world.

Gently, the strands of beads float out, wrap tight around the red-haired man, and lift him, drag him close.

"Ah, looking at you more closely," Kamisama says, "you're all scratched up." He puts a hand to the youkai's shame-heated cheek. "Sensei likes people like that, I think," he whispers, like a secret, and pulls him into a slow dance, the beads rattling.

*

When Kougaiji gets back, he's not completely broken; possibly why he was able to escape. No matter; Nii's known he'd come back, at any rate, since the things that were important to him were here. And truth to be told, if he fully breaks under lab conditions, he will be much more effective a tool than if he does out there.

Kougaiji's eyes are a lot emptier, and as Nii drags him back into the lab, Nii smiles. Time to move on.

"Now, strip," Nii says. And then he laughs, and says, "Ah, but the rabbit prince is already naked, isn't he? The things I overlook."

*

And Kamisama lies on his back and stretches a hand to the ceiling. He's sent the boy out for new toys again with his new pet monster, but the toys he brings back are always such poor quality. It's not going to make a difference. They don't matter.

"Ah," Kamisama says, quietly, so nobody will hear. "I'm bored."